Crushed Hopes!
by iceaurorasky
Summary: What if Coram never agreed to letting alanna become a knight, what happens then? Read if you wish to know, you will like it, go on the story is waiting for you......


**_Crushed Hopes!_**

**Chapter 1- On the way to Corus**

**if you recognise anything at all, it means dat i dont' own it. (u should know dis already!)**

_This is just a story about Alanna, her time at the convent and some events that occur in her life along the way. This story was at first written by two people but i was betrayed (kidding) and now i continue alone, kinda. Thanks Jus for the plot, checking and a few other things. anyway on with the story (i hope i don't bore you!).........._

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"But Coram," Alanna yelled, rushing after him.

"Don't even start, what the hell do you think you're tryin to pull," said Coram turning his horse around. "I gave my word to your father that you'd get to the convent and Thom to the palace. Mithros knows I've always wished you were a boy but you can't change what you are."

"I can do this, its all I've ever wanted"

"There'll be no more discussion, we are going back to your brother and that's that."

"I don't want to be a lady, Coram, I want to be a knight besides you know I'd make a pathetic lady."

"You'll learn, now lets go, move, come on, _hurry up_"

Alanna lingered on her horse for a moment trying to think of something, anything that would change Coram's mind. His sharp voice snapped her out of her thoughts "Alanna, this is no joke, Now Let's Go!" he turned his horse around; the opposite direction from the city of Corus, back along the road to Trebond. All Alanna could do was follow miserably. She looked longingly back towards the city, scolding herself for telling Coram, but the other part of her said he knew her far too well, he would have found out anyway. Still she rode on behind Coram, head down and continuously searching her mind for something that could change his decision, but it all seemed hopeless. Deep down she knew that once Coram was in this state, nothing could change his mind.

Alanna couldn't tell how long they had been riding on for. Every now and again she would look up to her surroundings and all she saw was an endless greenery of trees. Her eyes didn't get a chance to focus on the little blue birds and lorikeets singing in the trees above her. Her ears were also deafened to the lovely sound of their voices. All she could hear was the sound of the horse hoofs beating against the ground. Alanna started galloping to get her mind off the convent where she would likely end up going for the next couple of years of her life. Coram in front of her was riding at a quicker pace than Alanna. It was obvious to her that he was determined to catch up to Maude and Thom, make the switch and ride back to Corus just as if nothing had happened. What Alanna didn't notice was the regretful and pitying glances that Coram kept giving her.

Alanna was again deep in thought when she realized that Coram was saying something to her, "What? What did you say?"

"I said, I think I can see the fork in the road that leads to the City of the Gods and Trebond." Coram slowed down slightly so that Alanna could come up beside him.

She focused her gaze on where Coram was looking.

"Do you see it?" asked Coram.

"Yes," Alanna replied. Although her disappointment didn't show in her voice she could feel her throat burning and there was a stinging sensation behind her eyes that refused to go away.

Thom and Maude had only covered a third of the road to the City of Gods. The main reason for this is that when it came to riding ponies, Thom was not as gentle as Alanna, causing them to travel at an extremely slow pace.

Their surroundings had just started to change and the land before them was rising into mountains.

Maude was sure that Coram would go along with the plan once Alanna told him. But deep down there was a part of her that said, Coram always kept his word to Lord Alan and he didn't accept changes easily, even with the risk of him seeing things that were not there for the next couple of years. Maude refused to share this thought with Thom, instead she just ignored it.

It was Thom's voice that was the first to break the peaceful silence, "All my life I've wanted to be a mage and now I'm really on my way. I don't have to fuss around with swords or arrows anymore."

"If it is the Gods will Thom, then you will become a Mage."

"Well, if it wasn't their will then I would not be here would I? I'd be on my way to Corus."

"Many things may happen between here and the City of the Gods."

Thom thought about this and then replied, "maybe, but I still am going to be the strongest Mage there is one day."

Maude picked up the stubbornness in his tone and shook her head, "one day Thom, your stubbornness will get you into trouble!"

"One day, it's not one day yet! And I'm sure it will all be fun when it comes."

Maude let the conversation end there. She did not want to get Thom's hopes up too high, even though they seemed to be already there. As they rode on all Maude could do was send up a silent prayer to the Mother Goddess in the hope that they will reach the City of the Gods safely without any interruptions and everything will turn out as planned.

Alanna and Coram were now on the Great Road North. Coram could understand why Alanna had done this, but what he couldn't understand was why he had to be the one that was dragged into the middle of all this. Alanna could pass as a boy for the first couple of years but what happens after that... when the female part of her takes over completely. He couldn't risk it, he would not and to think of the consequences when they all found out.

At these thoughts Coram kicked his horse so that its pace would quicken slightly. He was now more determined than ever to get this all over and done with. 'It will not be long now before we catch up with Thom and Maude at the speed we're going,' thought Coram, 'and the things I have to say to Maude, how could she? Why?'

He looked back at Alanna, her head was still down. 'Alanna, it won't be that bad! Every noble girl goes to the convent."

Silence

"The years will be over with before you know it and at least you will have other friends there."

More silence

"Alanna?"

"Coram," Alanna said with a sigh. "You have no idea what it is like, you are a man, you get to do what you please, I don't. Coram I'm sorry, but I'm not in a good mood. I'm going to spend the next couple of years of my life in a CONVENT!"

"It won't be that bad Alanna, you'll see," his voice still calm.

"If only," replied Alanna.

Although Coram wanted to say more, he just left the conversation there. He did not want to rub it in and make Alanna feel even worse.

Time went by and it was now mid-afternoon. The pair had been riding since mid-morning, without any stops for rests or lunch. Alanna's stomach had just started to grumble and she could feel the effects of riding most of the day in her now aching muscles. She would have loved a short break from riding, maybe to eat a piece of fruit to satisfy her stomach, but nothing more, if she didn't eat she had a feeling that she would soon fall off her horse.

In the distance Alanna could see the ground turn into mountains. Somewhere there lies the convent and between the convent and Alanna were Thom and Maude. It was now obvious to Alanna that any minute now, Thom and Maude would come into view.

The road just ahead had started to rise to form a small hill, Coram was slowing down as he went up and just as he reached the top he stopped. Alanna rode up beside him and also came to a stop, in the distance she could make out the form of an adult on a horse and a child on a pony, Maude and Thom.

As Thom was riding he felt as though something was wrong but he just couldn't figure out what it was. Just as he was brushing this feeling aside he had the sensation that his sister, Alanna was near. Thom turned around, "Maude, look behind us."

Maude turned around and in the distance on top of a hill were two figures one adult and one child, clearly Coram and Alanna.

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_Hope you liked it. Anyway chapter 2 may be coming soon depending on the amount of reviews, it is already written, i think. Jus your review better be good this time and fanks jess for everything._

Lady iceangel


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